Vulnerability Is A Superpower

[Listen to an audio version of this blog HERE.]

“You seem emotionally unavailable,” I said.

“You’re not the first person to tell me that,” he replied, “I know I am.”

Therein lies the crux of the problem, I thought to myself. No wonder we were both dissatisfied. I craved a depth of emotional connection he was (admittedly) incapable of, which resulted in him feeling overwhelmed and me feeling disconnected and confused.

“I don’t like talking about emotions,” is a mantra I’ve heard repeated dozens of times, usually from men. The kind of anti-emotional alpha-male posturing that is so ubiquitous is not only insincere, but hurtful to those who embody it and everyone around them. Avoiding emotional pain deepens it. Avoiding extreme emotions does not make them go away, it usually just makes them stronger. Sometimes, men substitute one extreme emotion, like sadness, for one that is more socially acceptable to display, such as anger. The more we distract ourselves from whatever trauma litter our subconscious, the deeper they embed themselves and the harder it is to resolve them.

Emotional vulnerability has a time and place, just as physical strength, mental fortitude, and even emotional suppression have a place. Let me explain.