Thoughts Aren’t Facts

[Listen to an audio version of this blog HERE.]

The other day, my therapist said, “The world is a reflection of your inner thoughts,” which is just granola enough to mean nearly nothing. What she actually meant though, was that I project all of my fucked-up insecurities and weird psychic mishaps onto the people I meet and the places I see and even the animals I pat on the head. I think dogs are nice, because I’ve, for the most part, encountered nice dogs. I think the mountains are calming because I’ve felt calm in the mountains. And I think men are assholes because I’ve encountered my fair share of asshole men. I have not, however, encountered as many overtly asshole women, which I chalk up to my ability to read my own species better. Women are meaner than men, I think, because we spread evil rumors and talk behind backs and destroy each other’s reputations without a second thought. Men, on the other hand, probably don’t think about other people enough to consider how or when or why to ruin one’s reputation.

These are all thoughts I shared with her, and her response was simply, “Your thoughts aren’t facts,” which is a common therapist-y thing to say. I never thought my thoughts were facts, but she never thought to ask. She asked me to write a list of negative qualities about myself, so that I could challenge the negative thoughts, realize they aren’t facts, and spin them into…