Member-only story
The Inside Scoop on Gaslighting
[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]
Well hi, there.
The first therapist I saw after the dissolution of my engagement politely informed me that I’d been the victim of gaslighting and emotional abuse. I hadn’t considered this, because I didn’t know what gaslighting meant or that emotional abuse was a thing. Howdy-day. Let’s start with a definition. Gaslighting means:
gas·light /ˈɡaslīt/
verb gerund or present participle: gaslighting 1. manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.
The term gaslighting comes from the 1938 play by Patrick Hamiltion, known in America as “Angel Street” and later developed into the film “Gas Light” by Alfred Hitchcock. In the film, a manipulative husband tries to make his wife think she is losing her mind by making subtle changes in her environment, including slowly and steadily dimming the flame on a gas lamp. Not only does he make her believe she is insane, but he also abuses and controls her, cutting her off from family and friends. His wife begins second-guessing herself, her perceptions, and her memories. She becomes neurotic, hypersensitive, and unsure about what is true and what isn’t. The gas lamp became a symbol for these destructive behaviors and psychologists started using the label “gaslighting” to…