The Art of Receiving Praise

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

“Amazing job!” said a woman I did not know, “I can’t believe you did that! They should be draping you in ribbons!” she cracked open a can of watermelon flavored cactus water, “is this good?” she asked, and I said “sure,” but I meant, “not really.” We were standing at the finish line of a race I recently finished, me in my Grand Canyon tourist sweatshirt and her in trendy, mom-jean overalls.

“I really can’t believe you won,” she said again, “my son is still out there, he probably has an hour left.” I didn’t know how to react to her praise, so I shrugged, looked away, and said “thank you,” by which I meant, please stop. I dislike excessive attention, which might be surprising given that I’ve written about my life in great detail for many years now. But writing is different, and getting written compliments is different, too. This woman was looking in my eyes, telling me that I was amazing and an inspiration and congratulations on a job well done and it was nice and all, but I wanted her to stop.

Years ago, I wrote about my inability to accept compliments, how they made me uncomfortable because I didn’t believe them, and if a compliment, even a genuine one, is in conflict with how you perceive yourself, then of course it will make you uncomfortable. If someone tells you that you’re beautiful but you…