Tall Skinny Bald Man

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I’ve been eating a lot of pudding lately. The sugar-free kind, since that seems better. But it’s probably not, what with the aspartame and modified corn starch and yellow dye 6 and disodium phosphate and calcium sulfate and something called Phenylalanine, God knows what that is. I whisk the pudding powder into coconut milk and wait for it to harden. Wait like a good girl, a quiet girl, a patient girl. Wait like a well-behaved statue, calculate how many calories are in the pudding (25 in the powder, 70 with the milk, per serving, there are six).

Calculate the calories in order to remain skinny, like an attractive girl, a girl who knows men look at her, and likes it, a girl accustomed to men licking their lips and stroking their dicks and hiding behind their shame. I’ve been eating a lot of pudding lately, and it’s not so bad really, aside from the aspartame and modified corn starch and yellow dye 6 and disodium phosphate and calcium sulfate and something called Phenylalanine. Sometimes, pudding is all I eat between breakfast and bedtime, and that pleases me, endlessly, because it feels naughty, like a bad girl, a mis-behaved girl, a girl who breaks rules on the sly and never brags because this naughty girl has also learned the value of silence.