Stop Being So Agreeable

[Listen to an audio version of this blog HERE.]

I stumbled upon this video of professor Jordan Peterson waxing poetical about agreeableness; how excessive agreeableness can be harmful, how a greater percentage of men are highly disagreeable whereas more women are highly agreeable, and how the most highly agreeable among us often can’t articulate what we want because we often don’t know what we want. I found myself nibbling the edges of my proverbial conscience: am I too agreeable? Perhaps. The very fact that I was asking the question of myself may indicate excessive agreeableness, as uncertainty is one of the signs of a too-agreeable person. But then I did what any thriving millennial woman would do and Googled: “Am I too agreeable?” only to have the worldwide web spoon feed me sundry quizzes to take (I took this one, it’s likely a sham). My results came back: moderately agreeable, and I was slightly relieved. There’s a small but significant difference in getting along well with others and letting others walk all over you, which is apparently what excessively agreeable people are apt to do.

Agreeableness is one of the five personality traits of the Big Five personality theory. A person with a high level of agreeableness is usually warm, friendly, and tactful. They generally have an optimistic view of human nature and get along well with others. A person who scores low on…