Running & Weight Loss

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

I entered college, and collegiate running, with vague but firey aspirations of greatness. Could I run fast enough to be very good? Did I have it in me? Running, up to that point, had proven to me that I was stronger than I thought. Running helped uncover layers of myself that I didn’t know needed uncovering. Many runners have experienced a similar sensation, and that’s one of the coolest things about our sport. Greatness is something many people probably think about, without considering the hours of work and uncomfortable dedication it takes to fully realize. Greatness requires showing up day after day and because I believed so hard that I could be great, I was ready to do just that.

I was pushed harder than I’d ever been pushed before, and I loved it. But I was also confronted with such intense body shaming that I started to believe that my body was the reason my times hit a plateau. I started believing that my very average form was “too large.” My body was the reason that, after I made the All-Conference team as a freshman, my coaches said I “exceeded their expectations.” They looked at my body, did not expect greatness, and told me so. That’s a difficult belief to untangle.

But even after I reached my “fighting weight,” which we all agreed was 135, I still felt pressure to lose more. My times plateaued…