Running is Not Therapy

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

I’ve been running since I was 12, and I’ve been competitive most of that time. From multiple trips to State cross country and track and field meets, to running on the national stage at the NCAA Division 1 level, to completing ultra marathons, I’ve been around the running block. I’ve seen firsthand the struggles and triumphs that running has brought myself and other people. I know how much work it takes to be really good, and I’ve witnessed the reality that hard work is not a guaranteed avenue to success on race day.

Throughout my time as a runner, I struggled with mental health. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder in 2015, and spent the next 5 years seeing therapists and dietitians and learning how to feed myself again. Running and eating disorders are cousins- nearly a third of female college runners report some type of disordered relationship with food. Many runners have a history of some type of mental health concern: depression, anxiety, addiction, etc. We are inviolable and extremely vulnerable, pushing our bodies and minds to their precipice while simultaneously battling deep, dark, persistent demons.

In 2014, I sustained a laberal tear to my right hip. Prior to this, I’d never been hurt before. The doctor said it was overuse. I knew that it was overuse plus my eating disorder. There is no way to…