On Being Left Alone

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

I am objectively tired of dealing with people. I’m ready and willing to be a recluse. Buy a cabin somewhere quiet and green. Plug all the outlets so I can’t charge my phone. Bury my computer in the backyard of a house I don’t own. Breathe air that is clean and not talk to anyone, ever again. I’m only sort of joking.

When we were kids, my brother used to sit quietly in the car and stare out the window. I had to be entertained, and his insistence on just looking outside was enormously frustrating. The audacity. Except now, I understand. I too, would like to go on a road trip where I am not driving and also not expected to maintain consistent chit-chat. I would pay someone a lot of money to drive me somewhere and say nothing.

The last time I took an Uber, I was traveling from a busy convention center in downtown Indianapolis to the Indy airport. Both busy places. Both places I didn’t necessarily want to be. I requested that my Uber driver not talk to me, because that’s something we can do now. We can click a button that says, “Silence” and another human will actually be silent. Except, my Uber driver was not silent. He wanted to know why I was in Indy, what I was doing, if I’d had the chance to eat a steak, if I liked my steak, if I was familiar with the ins and outs of college basketball. I wanted to pretend to…