Negotiating Household Labor

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

Sometimes, I read articles or see videos about household labor and the gender split; how women are now not only working, but often becoming breadwinners and still shouldering the bulk of household work. This is a fact, proven both anecdotally but more importantly, through plenty of research.

Today is Mother’s Day and although I am not a mother, a checkout clerk at Whole Foods assumed I was. “Your kids are lucky to have you!” she chirped as I finished paying for my groceries. Instead of correcting her, I just smiled and said “Thank you.” I was buying eggs, wine, a frozen gluten free/vegan pizza, a graduation card, and a bouquet of flowers. Nothing I was purchasing implied motherhood. She simply presumed, just as many of us presume women to be better at cleaning or laundry or scrambling eggs.

I am not a mother, but I know many mothers and of course, I have a mother myself. My mother worked and cooked and did laundry and recruited my brother and I to help clean. One person cannot and should not be responsible for an entire household, after all. Sometimes, I let my bedroom fall into disarray and spent a whole day cleaning it and rearranging furniture. I learned from my Great-Grandmother how to properly square a bed corner, and I learned from my Grandmother how to scrub windows with ammonia and warm…