Isolation & Eating Disorders

Back in college, I used to eat lunch alone in my dorm room, if I decided to eat at all. That way, no one could tell me I was eating too much or not enough. No one could question my choices or point out the obvious reality that I, um, needed to eat. Social isolation is intrinsically tied to eating disorders. I avoided large gatherings centered around food. Palatable enjoyment was not my thing, and the shame wrapped up in my eating disorder was especially difficult to reconcile around people. It was simply easier to deal with by myself. Lately, in spending 99% all my time alone, I’ve turned back toward my eating disorder for the comfort it used to grant me-comfort that I have a difficult time finding elsewhere.

Some of you may be inwardly scoffing, especially those of you who are bemoaning the “Quarantine 15” or find yourself snacking a bit more than usual. The National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) states that “addiction thrives in isolation.” Irregular eating is a coping mechanism, and one I’ve turned to with newfound gusto. Normally, I’m not alone so much. Normally, I don’t feel as much shame or discomfort around food. Normally, I can see my friends, hug them, talk out my problems and listen to theirs. But these are not normal times, and I wanted to know why isolation is so triggering for those of us with eating disorders. Here’s what I found.