How the Patriarchy Damages Relationships

“I just don’t feel like he’s listening,” said me, said you, said every woman who has been in any type of relationship with a man.

On a recent episode of the Skinny Confidential Him and Her podcast, Marie Forleo talked about the synergy of male and female energies and how we can improve our intimate relationships by understanding the needs of our partners.

Forleo said that are three actions that turn men off: being Criticized, Controlled, or Closed off. Men do not respond well to partners who engage in these behaviors, a theory my personal experience seems to confirm.

The three actions that turn off women are: being Unseen, Unheard, and feeling Unsafe. If our partners do not listen, actually listen we cannot feel emotionally satisfied. Feeling unsafe will close us off, which turns our partners off, and the cycle of unfulfilling or bad communication continues.

These examples are rooted in hetero-normative assumptions, but the “three C’s” and “three U’s” hold true across all types of relationships: friendships, work relationships, family, et cetera. They have more to do with feminine and masculine energies than with the physical presence of a penis or vagina.

So, what do we do with this knowledge? It seems simple enough.