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How Much We Poop In Our Lives
Lately I’ve been writing about the weird, wild, terrifying and uncertain realities of life in the wake of COVID-19, because that’s all anyone can think about right now. We’re in survival mode for a minute, and when people are thrown headfirst into survival mode, the first thing we do is stock up on supplies. Dry rice. Canned goods. Frozen vegetables. Cleaning supplies. Hand sanitizer. And…toilet paper. We’ve all seen photos like this one of store shelves empty of all paper products.
We’ve all googled “Where can I buy toilet paper?” Only to have Google tell us, “Nowhere.” Some of us have casually searched for bidets, erroneously thinking that if the apocalypse does take place, the plumbing will still be functional. And if the world is, in fact ending, the cleanliness of our bums will likely be the last item on anyone’s mental to-do list.
People like to sling around fun, Snapple-cap facts like, “The average human sleeps for a third of their life,” meaning that if you live to be 75, you spend 25 years in the sack. If you’re like me, you may feel oddly disappointed in this fact. Sleep is wonderful. If I could spend half of my life asleep, I would. Nothing weird or terrible happens when you’re asleep. You…
