Gaining Muscle Mass

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

I have been running consistently since age 12, and I’ve been athletic and active for as long as I can remember. Inactivity, to me, is a dirty word (not to be confused with rest, tyvm). One thing that used to really bother me about my body, though, was how it doesn’t look like other runner bodies. Lining up on the start line of most races, I’d notice how thin other women were. How lanky their limbs or how tiny and light they appeared. Even when I starved myself thin, I couldn’t undo my natural, muscular frame. Even at the apex of anorexia, the only time I was able to shed significant pounds was when I wasn’t able to work out. My muscles all but disappeared, the scale dipped and my fucked up brain thought I was winning.

On the other side of recovery, I’ve learned to love my muscles because I love being active. I like running up mountains and being able to lift heavy things. I like feeling strong and empowered in my body. But when I feel the most strong, I look the least “like a runner.”’ I’ve been unable to run for most of January due to a bum hamstring, and I turned to cross training to stay in shape. I found a nearby gym and started lifting heavier weights, biking, and (attempting) to swim. After a few weeks of my new regimen, I was visibly gaining muscle, most noticeably in my arms. A trainer at the gym asked if I’m into bodybuilding…