Discomfort & Success

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

Before I met Mike, I used dating apps intermittently. There were time consuming and overwhelming, but they also enabled me to meet people I probably wouldn’t have otherwise. One thing men always asked me was, “What do you do for fun?” My answer was always the same: I run and I write. Those are my hobbies. Those are my primary interests, and they consume a lot of my free time. When I set out to do something, I want to do it well, so I’ve constructed a life that allows me the time and freedom to pursue my hobbies passionately. I was looking for someone with an equal passion about something. Some of the men I dated admired my passion. Some didn’t understand. Some had passions of their own that made the balancing act of dating both interesting and difficult. My point is that I was looking for someone uncommon, because my lifestyle is intentionally uncomfortable in small ways. I had to find someone willing to embrace those discomforts.

One guy in particular asked me to go to a club one Friday.

“No,” I said, “I need to go to bed early because I’m training early Saturday morning.”

“I’m sorry, that’s lame,” was his disappointing response.

It’s easy to go to clubs. It’s easy to get drunk. It’s easy to ask a girl to go to a club. It’s harder, and a bit more…