All About Discipline

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

My elementary school band teacher hung a poster in his classroom that read: “Don’t make excuses, make improvements.” Whenever someone messed up, needed correction, talked out of turn, etc, he would reprimand us, as any teacher would. And as any teacher knows, sometimes kids push back if they feel they’re being unfairly punished. When one of us pushed back, he’d simply point to the poster and say, “Don’t make excuses, make improvements!” This was maddening, but he was right.

We are accountable for our own actions, and we know this. We just don’t always like it. Sometimes, I find myself falling into the trap of blaming the world for my circumstances. Shunning responsibility is making an excuse, and people make excuses all the time. Your boss doesn’t understand your working style. Your parents aren’t supporting your dreams. Your partner isn’t listening, or isn’t pulling their own weight. People make excuses for their own attitudes and behaviors, and for other people’s too. Once you notice yourself making excuses, you’ll notice it in other people too and you’ll probably find it annoying.

At a pre-Covid work conference, I was telling a colleague about my mom and said, “I admire her; she’s a badass!” His retort was simply, “Hello apple, meet tree.” I blushed. But his comment inspired a new conversation around what…