[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

In third grade, I was sent home from school with a case of lice, which had effectively infiltrated my tiny head and the heads of many of my classmates. My mother picked me up from school, sat me down in a hard wooden chair, and went about the arduous process of picking each tiny bug out of my short brown mane. She did this more than once, patiently setting about her hours-long task without complaint. She washed all the bedding and turned the house upside down to ensure the bugs were…


[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

I have too many plates. Eight large plates, and eight small plates, to be exact. Cupboard space is at a premium and nothing, I repeat, nothing, fits.

I found myself contemplating the necessity of a toaster: I don’t really need a toaster, right? Toast is just twice-cooked bread and I could absolutely live without it.

The oven is too small to fit a normal sized baking sheet. It’s approximately the size of an easy bake oven, with none of the fun accouterments. I donated most of my kitchen supplies to a…


[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

The more time I spend on the internet, the more I dislike the internet, which is a lovely reason to spend less time (you guessed it) on the internet.

Last week I upset someone because I wrote about not isolating due to COVID anymore. I upset another person because I made a joke about putting your hand on a hot stove if you’re upset that I’m not isolating. One told me that my joke is violence, the other that I’m privileged and selfish. Both of these people don’t matter, but what…


I have a habit of writing letters to the men who break my heart. Sometimes, I send them but most of the time I don’t. I don’t think I ever should. So I’m sharing one with the internet instead, in the hopes that someone else finds this just as therapeutic. Xoxo.

Hi [Insert Common White Man Name Here],

I’m not here to profess my love. I’m not here to reiterate exactly how and why you hurt me. I’m not here to tell you how selfish you are, either. You already know that. You actually told me that a long time…


[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

When I started seeing my Dietitian (Amy), I hadn’t quite figured out how to feed myself. I was past the really bad eating disorder stuff: the purging and starvation and inevitable binges. I had stabilized my body weight enough that it didn’t cause concern, but as anyone with an eating disorder will tell you, the body is only a small part of it. Fixing the real problem requires fixing the brain. …


[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

Therapy is a weird but rewarding journey. Or at least, it was for me. I needed therapy to cover from my eating disorder, but I ended up addressing a host of other, related issues. It was very often uncomfortable, and sometimes even frightening. We are so often most terrified of whatever lies inside of us, whether that be potential, pain, heartache, or fear. 2021 marked the year I stepped away from therapy, because I no longer found it useful. …


[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

When I was very young, probably no older than 10, my dad, brother and I went to a gun safety class that was held in the high school cafeteria. Kids and parents, mostly boys and fathers, sat at round, brightly colored tables learning about the dangers of guns, how to properly carry a gun, how to properly clean a gun, etc. I think this class was mandatory for youth to get a hunting license, and in Northern Wisconsin, everyone hunted. The week before opening weekend was like a holiday, half of…


[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

According to Attachment Theory, there are four types of emotional bonds people form: secure, avoidant, anxious, and anxious-avoidant. (Read more about Attachment Styles here.)

Since beginning therapy over 5 years ago, I have traveled up and down the halls of attachment styles, read books, talked at length with therapists #3 and #4, and tried very hard to convert myself from an anxious-avoidant person to a secure one. This is easier said that done though, and my attraction to avoidant people is strong. It is rooted in a desire to be close…


[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

“All this social isolation is really getting to me,” I murmured to myself as I lint-rolled my yoga pants and attempted to pluck a stray eyebrow hair. I have not been isolating that hard (or at all) during the entire COVID-19 pandemonium. If that fact upsets you, kindly go place your hand on a hot coiled stove top and direct your anger elsewhere.

I haven’t been actively isolating, but much of the world still is which means that I’m still working from home which means that I normally don’t talk or…


[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.]

I attended Bradley University from 2011–2015, completing both my Bachelor’s and Master’s in English. I spent 5 years studying literature and writing at an institution that charged a hefty $40K per year to attend. After graduation, I landed a job in Chicago where I made $35K a year. I earned less in a year of full-time employment than it cost to attend my institution of higher learning. That seemed, to me, fairly fucked up. At the time though, I believed that education was the only path to a better life, and…

Sarah McMahon

Eating Disorder Activist | Poet | Freelancer |Blogger IG: @the_prosiest email: sarahrose.writer@gmail.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store